I just got into a huge fight with my dad. Like, the first fight in years where I've actually been screaming at him. (He, naturally, was screaming at me the whole ride home.) And it was over birth control.

( This got long and ranty )

You guys, I feel like I have looked into the dark mirror of my own soul, and it all involves zits.


( Seriously, if pus creeps you out, this is not for you )

So, on Tuesday, my sister brought home a dog. It had been dumped in a kennel and through the grapevine my sister's boyfriend ended up in possession of the dog. My sister is helpless in the face of any animal, and so we ended up with a 3-5 year-old female shih tzu. Her name is Lily. Through use of excessive friendliness and giant sad eyes, she has forced my parents to love her and I suspect she's here to stay. Behold:

( I herd u liek pictures of animals )

I woke up this morning with the realization that if I didn't put chocolate in my mouth within 30 minutes, I was going to die. Fortunately, there's a gas station right next to my house.

During summer and months that people actually want to go outside, I have to put on human clothes and brush my hair and generally look like a person in order to go over there. Example:


During winter, though, all the rules change. I don't have to put on a bra, because I'm wearing a heavy coat. I don't have to change out of the shirt I slept in, because again, heavy coat. I don't have to brush my hair, because I'm wearing a hat. No one will judge me for looking like a homeless person.

It is magical.

Holy crap, I feel like I might actually be starting to feel better! I had a cold that came out of nowhere and punched me right in the immune system, and I've spent most of the last week asleep. Seriously. Pretty sure I've outslept my cats. My parents (who have assumed I've been faking sick every time I say I'm sick since I was 10. To be fair, most of those times I was) have even been nagging me about going to the doctor. But now I can breathe through my nose and I feel alert for the first time in about five days.

Also, Reichenbaaaaaaach:


( I ran to the spoilers, and the spoilers were waiting )

Or at least, it will be 2012 in a couple hours! I am posting this now because I'm pretty sure I'll be asleep come midnight, or hanging out with my parents.

#can't be tamed

2011 has been an okay year for me personally, but it kind of sucker punched the world. Here's to 2012 being better, and also not the end of the world. Silly hippies, the Mayans laugh at your concept of linear time.

I love you all, my LJ peeps. Come, let me hug you!

How I Thought I Would Feel Once My Finals Were Done (based on my feelings this morning:

You know the end of There Will Be Blood, when Daniel Plainview is just totally batshit and beats that guy to death with a bowling pin? And the whole time he's just screaming and howling and making metaphors about milkshakes? And after he's done ruining his own life, he just sits on the floor and says "I'm finished"? Yeah. That.

How I Actually Feel:

My little sister has her first hangover :3 So cute and pathetic.

So, the party went very, very well! Which makes sense, since my fear of it was mostly a random social anxiety attack that happens unfortunately often. Actually, like most of my problems, the real problem came from my family.

Me: I will ask them for advice.
Them: LAKJSDLKAJSDLKAJSDLAKJSDL SO MUCH ADVICE AND ALL OF IT IS GOING TO BE BAD.

I was so stressed out that I was crying a little by the time my sister actually did my hair. They were all convinced that I needed to wear this one dress that I knew would look really different from everyone else's, and not in a good way. In a "no one told her that the party was semi-formal" way. As usual, when my sister decides something is reality, she will not be swayed from that reality. In her reality, this party was just like a regular house party and I ought to wear a dress with sleeves and leggings and boots, which, while cute, was way too casual. Cue an hour of arguing.

(Later, my friend Julie: "Yeah, it was really weird. When I told her it was a formal party, she just kept repeating 'It's formal?' like she didn't understand what I was saying.")

The maddening advice of my gene pool aside, I had a really fun time at the actual party. I think the long line of alcoholics in my family tree have really helped my liver process alcohol like a god. I don't feel hungover or nauseous at all. And I danced and got to hang out with my friend and made out with my date, all of which were very fun. Also, I pretended I was going to pass out so I'd have an excuse to lay down and go to sleep, which meant I missed a bunch of drunken fighting. Highlights of that included drunken punching/rolling on the floor, weeping in bathrooms, and my friend yelling that she wanted someone to get hit by a bus. Meanwhile, I was raiding the room fridge for more booze and going back to bed XD It was a good night.

In that spirit, my new favorite drink, the Tequila Sunrise:
45ml (3 parts) Tequila
90ml (6 parts) Orange juice
15ml (1 part) Grenadine syrup

Nothing with grenadine in it has ever steered me wrong.

I'm really trying my best to calm down and just chill, but it's hard. And that's silly, because this is supposed to be something fun. A friend of mine is taking me to a party at her sorority house. I haven't seen her in a while, and she's even gotten me set up with a blind date so I won't be a third wheel in a sea of couples. I get to dress up and look snazzy and get my drink on.

My hands are shaking.

I'm a bit introverted by nature, and so actual parties, with tons of strangers and loud music and no place to escape to, tend to make me nervous anyway. Plus, there's going to be a date, with a stranger. I freak out so hard about whether or not the people I've met like me, and apparently my friend has been talking me up all weekend to get him to agree to a blind date on short notice, so...yeah. Not feeling particularly confident about living up to those expectations. And to say that I'm gonna be out of my element at a sorority house is such an understatement.